Are you one of the millions of people who find themselves staring at the ceiling at 2 or 3 AM, night after night? You might blame your bladder, your age, or that late-night glass of water. But what if I told you the real culprit is a single, deep muscle that’s flipping your body into high alert while you’re supposed to be resting? Release it tonight, and your ability to sleep soundly finally turns back on.
This isn’t just a theory; it’s rooted in your body’s physiology. Most people try everything to fix their sleep—melatonin, sleep hygiene, cutting out caffeine—but they never address the root cause. The truth is, your nervous system is the master controller of your sleep. And there’s a powerful muscle, directly wired to your stress response, that can keep you stuck in a light, easily-disrupted sleep cycle, no matter how exhausted you are. This muscle is called the psoas (pronounced SO-az), and releasing it might be the key to finally turning your sleep back on for good. (Based on the insights of metabolic health expert, Ben Azadi)
Key Takeaways
Your nervous system, not just hormones or age, dictates your sleep quality.
A deep muscle called the psoas is directly linked to your body’s “fight-or-flight” response.
When the psoas is tight, it signals danger to your brain, preventing deep, restorative sleep.
A simple 5-minute nightly ritual can relax the psoas, calm your nervous system, and help you sleep through the night.
The Psoas: Your Body’s Hidden Stress Switch
So, what is this mysterious muscle? The psoas connects your spine to your legs, running deep through your core. Its job is to stabilize your spine and allow you to flex your hips, but most importantly, it’s intricately wired to your fight-or-flight stress response. This is the sympathetic side of your nervous system—the part that gets you ready to face a threat with a surge of cortisol and adrenaline.
When your psoas is tight, your body interprets it as a sign that you’re in danger. Your body’s number one priority is always survival. It doesn’t know the difference between the stress of being chased by a predator and the chronic stress of deadlines, traffic, and constant sitting. Prolonged hip flexion from sitting all day keeps the psoas short and tight, constantly feeding low-level stress signals to your brain. This keeps cortisol elevated and prevents your body from shifting into the parasympathetic state—the “rest, digest, and detoxify” mode you need to be in for deep sleep.
In plain English: a tight psoas keeps you alert. A relaxed psoas lets you sleep. Tonight, we’re going to fix that.
Your 5-Minute Ritual for Uninterrupted Sleep
This isn’t about aggressive stretching for flexibility. This is about sending a powerful signal of safety to your nervous system. Follow these five steps in bed right before you want to fall asleep.
1. The Reclined Butterfly: A Gentle Psoas Release
First, you need to gently release the tension in your hips. Lie on your back in your bed. Bring the soles of your feet together and let your knees fall outward toward the mattress. If you’re over 45 or feel any strain or pain, place pillows under your knees for support. This is crucial: you should not feel a strong stretching sensation. This is not about forcing a range of motion; it’s about allowing gravity to do the work. Your body should feel held and supported, not pulled. Studies show that this kind of passive hip opening reduces the sympathetic drive and improves heart rate variability (HRV), a key marker of nervous system recovery and resilience.
2. Vagus Nerve Breathing: The Master Switch for Calm
While you are still in the reclined butterfly position, you’re going to activate the master switch for your parasympathetic nervous system: the vagus nerve. You’ll do this with a specific breathing pattern. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four seconds. Hold the breath gently at the top for two seconds. Then, exhale slowly and completely through your nose for six seconds. This pattern of extending your exhale directly stimulates the vagus nerve. Human trials show that this type of breathing lowers nighttime cortisol, increases parasympathetic dominance, and improves both sleep efficiency and the duration of REM sleep. As you breathe, send your body a powerful message. You can say it in your head or whisper it out loud: “I am safe now. There is nothing to solve. I can power down.”
3. Ankle Pumps: The Circulation Flush
Now, you can gently bring your knees up and straighten your legs, perhaps with a pillow underneath your knees for comfort. This next step is a game-changer for people who wake up with the urge to pee. During the day, especially if you sit or stand a lot, fluid can pool in your lower legs. At night, when you lie down, this fluid gets redistributed back into your system, and your bladder takes the hit, waking you up. To prevent this, you’ll perform ankle pumps. Simply flex your feet, pulling your toes toward your shins, and then slowly point your feet like you’re pressing a gas pedal. Do this gentle movement for one to two minutes. You are simply clearing the system before sleep, improving venous return and reducing the chances of nocturia (nighttime urination).
4. Knee-to-Chest: The Spinal Reset
Next, you’ll decompress the nerves in your lower back that feed into your pelvic floor and bladder. When these nerves are irritated, your body can remain in a semi-alert state. Lying on your back, gently bring one knee toward your chest. Hold it there for 30 seconds. If it’s uncomfortable to hold your shin, hold behind your thigh instead. Remember, pain is not progress here; relief is. There should be no sharp sensations. After 30 seconds, slowly release that leg and bring the other knee to your chest for 30 seconds. Repeat this for a second round on each leg, for a total of two minutes.
5. Legs Elevated in Stillness: The Final Signal
This is the final signal to your nervous system that the day is done and the threat is over. Place a pillow sideways under your ankles so your legs are slightly elevated. Rest your hands on your belly and return to your slow, calming breath. Stillness is not about doing nothing; it’s an active process of telling your nervous system, “The threat is over. You are safe.” As you breathe, quietly repeat in your head, “I am letting go.”
To make this even more powerful, add a dose of what I call “Vitamin G”—Gratitude. As you exhale, think of one specific thing you are grateful for. I’m grateful for this safe, clean bed. I’m grateful my body is healing. I’m grateful I’m going to get a great night of sleep tonight. Practice this for at least two minutes. When you do this, cortisol drops, the parasympathetic system activates, pelvic nerves decompress, bladder signaling normalizes, and your sleep depth improves dramatically.
But What If…? Addressing Your Sleep Concerns
“Isn’t waking up at night just a normal part of aging?”
While it may be common, it is not necessarily normal. It’s often a sign that the nervous system is overly active at night. When the body learns to stay calm and regulated, sleep can remain consolidated and deep, regardless of your age. Don’t write off poor sleep as an inevitable part of getting older.
“I’ve tried breathing exercises before and they didn’t work.”
This is a frequent comment, and the reason is simple: most breathing exercises fail because they are attempted while the body is still physically in a state of tension. You can’t tell your brain you’re safe while your psoas is screaming that you’re in danger. When you release the physical tension with the gentle movements first, the vagus nerve becomes receptive to the signals from your breath. That’s when breathing finally works.
“What if I have back or hip pain?”
This routine is especially important for you. Chronic pain is a major signal of threat to the nervous system. The key is to perform these movements gently and with support. Use pillows liberally under your knees and head. Choose a smaller range of motion. The goal is to feel supported and pain-free. Remember, pain keeps the nervous system on high alert. Relief is what turns it off.
Conclusion: Your Sleep Isn’t Broken
If this ritual makes you realize one thing, let it be this: your sleep isn’t broken, your body has just been stuck in survival mode. Broken sleep isn’t just about being tired. It’s why stubborn belly fat won’t budge, why cravings hit hard, and why your body can feel older than it should. By taking just five minutes to communicate safety to your body, you can begin to unwind these patterns. You are giving your nervous system permission to rest, and in doing so, you are reclaiming your health. Try this simple routine tonight and see how it feels to sleep deeply and wake up refreshed.
