Elderly parents are not automatically -- your responsibility - Do you believe?

“Your elderly parents are not automatically your responsibility.” We are taught this idea early—wrapped in morality, duty, and guilt. “They gave you life. They raised you. Now it’s your turn.” But no one ever asks how they raised you. Was it with safety or fear? With support or control? With love—or constant criticism that taught you to shrink? Giving life does not create an unquestionable debt. Providing food and shelter does not erase neglect, cruelty, or emotional abandonment. Now they are older. Fragile. In need. And suddenly, your life is expected to pause. Your work. Your family. Your peace. Your healing. All of it offered up on the altar of obligation. “But they’re old now.” “Forgive and forget.” “They’re still your parents.” As if time dissolves wounds. As if age cancels harm. As if suffering obligates silence. You do not owe your adulthood to compensate for a childhood that hurt. You do not owe your mental health to anyone’s regret or decline. You do not owe self-destruction in the name of forgiveness. You may help—without disappearing. You may offer support—with boundaries. Or you may step away entirely. None of these choices make you cruel. They make you honest. Honor them if your heart chooses to. But never sacrifice yourself out of duty to those who never protected you with love.